A Journey of Growth
Welcome to my Substack, you have arrived at my first post and I would like to think you’ve made it here because you were meant to. I have been on a Journey, probably not unlike yourself. The intensely chaotic experience we call life. Life is filled with exhilarating highs and lows that feel as though your soul is being smothered by an overbearing, subconsciously racist, dread provoking uncle that you usually try, at all costs to avoid. These lows however can’t always be avoided, they creep up on you more like an older sibling stealing your snack from over your shoulder and pushing you to ground, laughing as they run away.
Guess what…
We all feel these lows, but for some there is a deep feeling of complete isolation, when you can’t produce the words to communicate to others how you feel. When the low possesses you and infiltrates your mind with a darkness that seems impossible to navigate. The devastating reality is that this can be the end of the road for some.
My vocation somehow got lost in the post, I missed it or someone else opened up my package, or maybe I thought it was junk and dismissed it with all the takeaway menus.
(or maybe it hasn’t been dispatched yet, that however is for a later post).
I believe it was being unable to find a purpose in my life that was the start of the darkness in my mind.
Not an Expert
For me, my journey has felt like a long freefall without a destination. Like I jumped on a train and hoped for the best. I always believed I had a destination, I just hadn’t been able to read the map. Each stop along the way has brought me experiences I’ll treasure always, some more than others but each stop has also brought its challenges.
I hope to reach those who are at an unexpected stop in their life, that wasn’t part of the grand plan, and take your hand to guide you through. I do not claim to be a psychologist or anything in particular. I’m just like you. I’ve struggled, I’ve coasted, I’ve shed oceans of tears and smiled until my face became sore.
I see the bright rays of sunlight breaking through the clouds now. I still feel heavy with the tormenting thoughts that beat down on my head like great cold raindrops, but I see the rays of positivity, and it is starting to makes me feel an almost too good to be true feeling of euphoria, like I’ve made it through the never ending storm that I once thought was going to consume me. Two months ago I would have never seen myself as capable of being able to write this, but here I am.
Shadows
When in a dark room there are no shadows. Unfortunately as well as being arguably one of the greatest things that humans are aware of, the brain can be a pretty nasty thing. When the people around you are there but your mind has engulfed them in darkness you can feel extremely alone. If someone you know is not responding try not to jump to conclusions, hold up a light and cast a shadow from the distance. Let them know you’re there. Our shadows can be our only company at times and in the darkness the shadows are not there, a single shadow in the darkness, regardless of whose it is, can make a huge difference.
I want to help, and I want to meet people. Whether you’re here to help or for help come and say Hi, and share this with people. We can build a community make friends and share experiences. We can give advice or just listen but most importantly we can all shine a light to disperse the darkness.